Cyber-Date

This date could make for a fun evening getting to know your spouse's "alter-ego".... with little effort, planning, or money!

So, hop on computers at different houses, two different computers in the same house, or take it public to an internet cafe!

Meet in a private chat room and have a conversation over the internet... Each of you can make yourselves up to be someone totally different and "get to know" each other... This may sound like a weird date, but you may be surprised at how it adds a whole new dimension to your relationship...at least for that night! C'mon...spice it up, folks! ;)

Maybe after a few chats, you'll feel ready to "meet" each other in person! Ooh..this could get exciting!

I plan on doing this with my husband soon. I'll be giving him this Cyber-Date Invitation:

You can snag the Word file of this HERE.
{Fonts may not transfer, but the rest will.}
Digital Design Credit: JadyDayStudio, Blooming Friendship Kit

Then, I'll have him set up on the laptop with some hot cocoa (while I use the desktop).

Keep in mind that this date is great for all types of situations.

• It can be a quickie date at home for nights when going out or getting a babysitter just isn't an option.
• It's great for long-distance relationships, too! (just mail the invite for added effect...)
• If you have two laptops, it's a fun way to get out of the house without having to spend money (since you'll be sitting at an internet cafe).
• Enjoy lunch or dinner at Panera Bread while using their free wi-fi to chat.

As always, I'd love to hear your suggestions and/or comments. Let me hear it, people!

Budgeting Tip for a Nice Date

Today I wanted to offer a quick tip for all those who may be a little strapped for cash and put dating on the back-burner as a result.

I found this little piece of advice in Redbook’s (Lisa Sussman) "500 Great Dates"

Skip a week at the grocery store and use all those things that have been taking up shelf-space in your pantry and freezer instead. You’ll find that you can probably feed your family for at least one week with what you have on hand…. And if you don’t have a stockpile, then get a few days worth of mac & cheese, HB helper and save the rest of your grocery money that week to put towards a nice date that weekend!

After all, marriage (and every relationship for that matter) is about give and take......And remember, dating is cheaper than marriage counseling!

Bon appétit!

Romancing the Alley

When was the last the two of you hit up the bowling alley...alone?

Of course, this next time won't just be regular old bowling...as you know, adding twists to everything is right up my alley. Here are a few ideas you should try the next time you bowl together:

• Before the game, each of you write down your guess of what your score will be (This keeps it fair in case one is a better bowler.) On the back of your score card, each of you will write what you will give the other as a reward for winning. Then, put the card somewhere safe (where neither of you can change your guesses). After the game, write down your actual score and figure the difference. Whoever wins gets to claim their prize (written on the back of the other's score card).

Download HERE

• Assign a romantic value to each strike and spare. You could make each strike worth a kiss to be redeemed right then. Each spare could be worth a hug. Make sure you keep score! If either of you are good, this could be a very PDA-filled game of bowling...but WHO CARES!
  
  
• Empty a small bag of Skittles or M&Ms into a cup or bowl. Assign different styles of bowling to the different candy colors and then have each person pick a piece of candy at the start of their turn to determine how they will bowl that round. (idea submitted by Ethan Estrada)
  
  Examples for different styles include:
  "Granny Style" (holding the ball with both hands)
  Bowling backwards between your legs
  Placing the ball on the ground and pushing it with your foot (don't kick it...)
  Bowling with your opposite hand
  Using a children's ball guide if available (not to be confused with alley bumpers)
  Having your turn bowled by your spouse
  Bowl normally
  
  This helps level the playing field and decreases the level of seriousness of the competition..especially when one of you may be better than the other!
  
  
• Instead of entering your actual names for scoring, make up cute/silly/dorky nicknames for each other. Don't forget to enjoy a snack and hit the arcade for a game or two before heading home!
  
  This is the one date that I wish for you to Strike Out! Have fun!

Motivating Your Man

Today's post is an answer to a question posed multiple times to me from my followers. I chose to answer this on the blog instead of personally, and I hope those who posed the question won't mind. I believe that there are a lot of guys who think the same way and other women may sometimes wonder the same thing. The question goes something like this:

"My husband doesn't believe in this lovey-dovey stuff. He doesn't think we need to date now that we are married. What should I do?"

To answer the question, I first want to quote Lisa Sussman from Redbook's 500 Great Dates.

"One of the differences between newlyweds and "oldly-weds" is that people who've been an item for a while usually stop surprising each other. It's not that you're no longer capable of being unpredictable; it's just that it takes time to amaze when you know each other so well. But what if your guy isn't really the kind of guy to spring a surprise romantic night on you? Sure, he's bowled you over with flowers a few times, maybe the occasional unexpected chocolate…But a full-out-every-detail-meticulously-planned-to-make-you-go-awww evening out? Never!

This doesn't mean that you aren't adored. It may just be that his idea of what constitutes a romantic surprise is different from yours. Maybe he parks his car on the street so you can get out easily in the morning. Perhaps he always buys strawberry ice cream because he knows it's your favorite even though he really prefers cookie dough. In his mind, these sweet little touches are just as unexpected and significant as organizing all the nitty-gritties of a razzle-dazzle wingding date. When you get down to it, planning a romantic surprise, however big or small, is just shorthand for saying "I love you. I think about you. I am paying attention to who you are."

Of course, this warm fuzzy feeling may not be enough to cut it when you want to find a love poem in your wallet, to be serenaded at dinner and the whole extravagant nine yards. So tell him what you find romantic. Just say it outright. Coyness and suggestiveness may not serve you well with a nonromantic. Make it clear what you like, and there will be no room for confusion. Some men don't do romantic things because they think their idea will fail or you won't like it. Let him know what you like, and he'll feel safe enough to do it. So there probably won't be a violinist standing by the next time he brings you tea in bed, but there may just be candlelight and flowers…."
{Pg. 118-120}

So, let's recap. Your husband is not a mind-reader. Ideally, we'd love for each of our men to suddenly knock us off our feet with some huge romantic to-do, but for most of us, it's just not going to happen. Here's the plan:

1. Adjust your expectations.
Don't get me wrong... this doesn't mean you should expect him to never do anything romantic, but make sure your expectation is reasonable and fair. Don't set him up to fail.

2. Be clear.
Tell him what you want and how you'd like your romantic life to be improved. Let him know that romance to you doesn't always mean him planning HUGE events, but that small gestures and/or surprises every now and then are important to you.

3. Cater to each other's love language.
Just as you might like to see more romantic gestures from him, he may like more intimacy from you. (Read about the 5 love languages here). It's about give and take. Make sure you're not always demanding romantic gestures when he's not getting the love he needs. You need to understand and satisfy each other's needs--even though it may not be what you think is most important.

4. Be patient
Realize that he won't turn into Prince Charming over night…offer loving reminders when needed and remember to keep your expectations reasonable.


If you've been through these steps and have not seen much progress, I recommend the following:

• Read the "The 5 Love Languages" TOGETHER.
  
• Have a romance schedule…perhaps something similar to my romance calendar. (Some guys like to know exactly what to do and when. This takes out most of the spontaneity, but it's a good start…)
  
• As often as you see fit, print out ideas of simple romantic gestures or date ideas that you'd love to have him do for you.
  Here's what I would do: Print out 5 ideas (for example, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and staple them all together. Attach a note that says "Hey hun…I'm in need of a little romance. Try one of these." That way, he can pick what he wants to do and there's still a little spontaneity involved for you! (AND--you're not giving him the key to your wealth of ideas...just 5)

That's all I've got---I'm no expert, but romance is much too important (and much too fun) to sit on the sideline. I hope with these tips that romance finds its rightful place in your relationship.

I wish you all the best in your romance endeavors...

~ Cher

PS: This post is not meant as a solve-all solution. Every relationship and every person is different. Please don't take this post as an insult to men; just a generalized suggesion for those who feel the lack of romance in their relationship.

The Melting Pot

The idea behind this date night is simple.... it's the details that will take some work.

The Idea: Make your own Melting Pot Restaurant. Eating there is very expensive. When recreating at home, it can be done very cheaply!

The Details

Invitation:

"I'm so "fondue" of you...join me this evening for a romantic fondue for two."
"You make me melt...join me this evening for a romantic fondue for two."
"If your love for me is true, then join me for fondue..."

Supplies:

• 2-3 fondue pots (or mini-crockpots) - (borrow from friends...OR ask a newlywed couple, they surely got 5 for their wedding)
• A nice table setting complete with candlelight (I'm talking cloth napkins, a table cloth, wine glasses, etc.)

Food:

I like to have three options, but you can simplify or expand depending on your preference. There are SO many different recipes. I'll leave that up to you. Google it.

Oil/Broth Fondue - Dipping foods: meatballs, prepare cubed meats, shrimp, scallops, vegetables, potato chunks, mozzarella sticks, (cocktail, horseradish and teriyaki sauces for dipping).

Cheese Fondue - Dipping foods: cubed french/italian bread, florets of broccoli and cauliflower, bite-sized cooked chicken, bite-size cooked ham, roasted potatoes,

Chocolate Fondue - Dipping foods: strawberries, bananas, peaches, pineapple, mango, apples, cherries, angel food cake, pound cake, cheesecake, cookies, marshmallows, pretzels
{for my chocolate fondue, I like to melt milk chocolate chips with some vegetable oil (1-2 tablespoons) to get to the consistency I like. really easy.}

Romance Helps:

• Feed Each Other - (with the skewer, your fingers...or, your mouth...) ooh..this could get a little seductive!
• Take turns blindfolding each other while feeding each other... Create suspense when possible.

Desiree, one of my readers, submitted this photo of the Fondue Night she put together for her hubby. Thanks, Desiree!

If you have a "Fondue Night" photo to submit, please email to ccloveactually AT gmail DOT com.

{Drum Roll...}

Congratulations to Shahny--the random winner of 1,001 Ways to be Romantic!!!! I have a feeling she's going to put this book to good use being that she's a newlywed.

Many thanks again to Simply Sweet Marriage for allowing me to host this giveaway!! All of you who didn't get a chance yet, you NEED to go check out their site. They have some great stuff going on over there!

If you are interesting in purchasing a product from their store, they would also like to give free shipping to 3 of my followers. The first 3 to contact me using my "Submit an Idea" form at the bottom of my page will get the free shipping offer. Please only contact me if you are SERIOUS about buying. Be sure to include your email address so I can tell you the code. Thanks!

And, on a side note, I just wanted to say thanks to all my followers--old and new! You are all terrific. I sincerely appreciate all of your comments and submitted ideas... This blog keeps growing--more followers and more ideas. I'm trying to think of clever ways to accomodate the growth and convert this little blog into something bigger...but for now, I hope you'll stick with me and comment often! Thanks again!

Romantic Scrabble

Try this the next time Date Night gets rained out...

Romantic Scrabble

The only rule: You can only use words that relate to love, romance, etc.

When my husband and I played, he used "Cher" as one of his words. I called him on it. He defended by saying, "How can I not think of love when I say "Cher"? He triple scored for this one. :)

One of Love, Actually's blogging friends, Ashley from A Daily Dose of Dieting, submitted a picture of what her and her hubby call "Sexy Scrabble"...

Looks like a fun and simple date to me!

{Picture Perfect}

Today's post has nothing to do with dating or romance directly, but...decorating with pictures of you and your spouse can be a great way to demonstrate your love on the walls of your very home.

I love pictures...However, I'm not one of those people who have tons of photos smothering my walls or in picture frames crowding every available space in my house.

BUT, I have seen a few adorable photo walls that I'd like to share.

***************

I think this would be so cute with engagement/wedding pictures or family portraits.

From Tara's Blog

My friend, Meagan, has this super cute photo frame collage on her wall along with vinyl lettering.

Step into my home! ...this is actually one of my walls...I ordered my vinly lettering from A Wishful Thought.

Who needs frames? Just slap those pics on the wall! I'm envisioning photos of a couple or family...not clouds.

This was taken from Glamour.com

Or, if you're not a fan of your pictures together, how about a collage of places you've been together...oh, the memories...

Found at: Vinyl Letter Decor

Simple & Classy...I like it!

From: thewallworks.com

This is just stunning. I love it.

From: adheringthoughts.com

Simple and elegant--plus, there's a tutorial! Click link below.

from Trey & Lucy's Blog


If you have a photo wall or other romantic home decor that you'd like to share, send it my way and I may feature it on this or an upcoming post! ccloveactually@gmail.com

Don't forget to enter the giveaway HERE!!

{Giveaway} 1001 Ways to be Romantic

One of my favorite parts of writing this blog is having people contact me and offer a giveaway product! I LOVE it!

Simply Sweet Marriage.com is a site devoted to strengthing marriage through intimate products and romance. Its goal "is to provide the resources, products, and apparel for husbands and wives to cultivate and increase marital intimacy and make marriage a place of refuge." It sells some fabulous products, cute freebies, and even provides education on various topics applicable to marriage.

So, they found Love, Actually and wanted to offer one of my followers this book...

I "flipped" through it on Amazon and it looks fantastic.

Want a chance to win? Here's how to qualify:

1. Be or become a follower.
2. Comment on this post telling me the next romance or date idea you intend to do for your spouse (one of Love, Actually's ideas or your own!)
3. Make sure I have an email address to contact you at or that I can actually get to your blog from your comment.

Giveaway ends: Monday, Aug. 10 - (9 pm EST)

Also, stop by Simply Sweet Marriage and tell THEM or ME (in a comment) what you think about their site. What do you like best? Is there a product you particularly liked? Please take the time to provide a little feedback. ---much appreciated!

Rice Kisspies

Time for a little midweek romance, people. How about packing these in your love's lunch or setting them by the door as a greeting for when they get home?

"Rice Kisspies"

This idea and picture is from Jessica over at Or So She Says.

You'll need:

• A fresh batch of rice krispy treats. Recipe HERE. (Substitute strawberry marshmallows if possible)
• Tin Foil
• Slips of paper with love messages
  
  While your rice krispies are still warm, shape a bite-size amount into a hershey kiss shape. (You can use a kitchen funnel to help shape.) Wrap a piece of tin foil around, insert paper.
  
  What a fun idea...I'll bet you can't wait to try it, huh?

Spicy Dice

Here's a fun way to spice up your next date night. The best part... it comes with a little bit of anticipation. This will be a date night that the man in your life will especially appreciate...

Have you seen these before? I call them Spicy Dice...you can call them whatever you like (Dirty Dice is another catchy name..)

(I found these at Dollar Tree.) If you can't find these to buy, then glue word strips to real dice. The results are the same.

Here's how it works:

The day of your date night, give your spouse a mini gift bag with the dice in it. Attach a tag to the bag which says, "Life with you is Pair-A-Dice. Can't wait for date night with you tonight..."

If you use a set of three dice, you could change your tag to say "Are you feeling lucky? Can't wat for date night with you tonight..."

Here are some other spicy dice sets to give you ideas if you need to make your own. Google "spicy dice" or "love dice" for other ideas and images.

Sweet Thoughts

Look at this fun idea I found at We Are THAT Family...

You could have a big jar like above with fun-size candy bars inside, each wrapped with some "sweet thoughts"--loving sentiments. I think I would give this to my husband as a gift for when he needed a little "pick me up".

Your love could keep it in a deep desk drawer at work....or perhaps in their locker at school...or in a bedside table. Whichever they prefer.

...and when it gets low, be sure to give them free refills (of candy AND of new, sweet thoughts).

The Love Dare - Giveaway

Remember when I posted about Fireproof, the movie? No? Click HERE to refresh your memory.
Okay, now that you're all caught up...

Take a look at what Kathryn, a follower of Love, Actually, is giving away!!



Pretty cool, huh? I'd love to read this book and of course take the dare myself...so, of course I entered the giveaway... If you'd like a chance to win, skip on over to Kathryn's blog to enter!

Giveaway ends: Monday, July 27

Emerald City

About a month ago, my husband and I toured New York City. We had really been hoping to get tickets for "Wicked" (the broadway prequel to The Wizard of Oz). They were sold out and we even waited in line for an hour for the "lottery" tickets. No luck.

So...I thought I'd create my own production of The Wizard of Oz...using a little inspiration that has been in the back of mind since this blog began. That inspiration is from one of my favorite authors, John Bytheway and his wife, Kim who wrote What We Wish We'd Known When We Were Newlyweds. This "date" was something Kim had done for John and he wrote about it in this book.

What you'll need:

- Lots and Lots of GREEN stuff (stuff around the house or dollar store)
(plastic tablecloth, balloons, plastic plates, streamers, green plants, green sheets, towels, etc.)

- Yellow "bricks" - cut out of cardstock/construction paper
(I distressed mine with a little brown ink around the edges)

- Red socks, slippers, or anything relatively close to it
(I got lucky and found mine at the dollar store)

- Printed signs as instructions (see pics below)

- Green Food/Drink
(I just put green food coloring in Sprite, and drizzled green candy melts over plain popcorn--delicious!)

- Items for the Courage, Brain, and Heart challenges

(see below)

- The Wizard of Oz Movie
1. Have the "ruby red slippers" waiting for your love when they walk in.
2. Next to the slippers...an instruction to follow the Yellow Brick Road.
3. When they get to the end of the road (your closed door), have the next instruction to click their heels together 3 times and say, "There's no _______ (husband/wife) like ___ (your name)." example: "There's no wife like Kim."
4. After they do so, declare from inside, "YOU MAY ENTER."

5. Allow them time to adjust their eyes...(No, it's not St. Patrick's Day, hunny)
6. Eat. Drink. (be merry is a given.)
7. Just like the lion, tinman, and scarecrow....make them demonstrate/earn courage, a heart, and a brain through a set of challenges.

Courage - (example: make him suck on 2-3 Warheads (sour candy) at once).
Brain - (example: have him find 2-3 green glow-in-the-dark sticks hidden in the room..hide them well, have him search in the dark). OR any task that you can justify using his brain for.
Heart - (example: cut a heart out of construction paper, cut into simple puzzle pieces w/ a love message, have him put together to earn his "heart")

This one takes a little work and a desire to be creative. But it's totally fun if you're in a total rut and need something to mix up your dating life! Who needs to go out? After all, "there's no place like home..."

Christmas in July

There seems to be a trend of celebrations in July being named "Christmas in July". So, I thought this would be a fun theme for a date night, too!

Here's a few items you may want to pull out of storage....

- a strand or two of lights

- stockings

- wrapping paper

- any other holiday decor that's easy to put up and make your room look Christmasy/Wintery with

- makeshift "mistletoe"

Then....

Crank the AC (to make for a chilly, winter night), get into some pajamas, and welcome your spouse home with "Merry Christmas!" After you get a funny look from them, point to the fake mistletoe (a picture of it will do) above you. When he/she is all setted, accompany them back to your room which is decked out in holiday decor (well, enough to get the idea, anyway). Have some holiday music playing and have him/her open a little gift you got for them or maybe their stocking with some fun and simple stocking-stuffer type items. Make a treat that is normally reserved only for the holidays for you both to enjoy while you watch your favorite holiday movie.

C'mon...this one is totally do-able and fun. AND, it would be totally unexpected!

Love Debit Card

You know how they say you can never have too many credit cards? {Oh, they don't say that??} Well, I DO! And, I'm about to add a new one to your love's wallet!

*download link below*

There's two ways you can do this.

First, you can use this as a quick and easy date night idea. Make 6 cards and then sit down together and write on 3 each (to give to each other). Set an established expiration date. (This way they don't turn into love coupons which tend to be forgotten about.) This is nice because you can get something fun out of this, too!

Second, you can sneak it into his/her wallet for a fun surprise!

This could be especially useful for couples in a time when money is tight. Put it in your love's wallet with some kind of written sentiment:
“Who needs money? We’ve got each other…and our account is (or, "our investments are") growing everyday..."
"I know money is tight, but I felt like splurging...on you!"

Many thanks to Jena for providing the inspiration for this idea!

You can download the Debit Card PDF file HERE. *Please comment if you download!

Movies in the Park

I was just thinking back to the days when my husband and I were dating in college. We both had apartments full of rommmates and none of them were dating. We didn't think they'd appreciate our lovey-dovey-ness, so the park became our place. Often, after dark, we would pack up the laptop, a DVD, a blanket, and a few snacks and head to the park.

This is us...except, we were in a park, not a meadow.
And we didn't have a logo in front of our faces. :)
Oh, and my husband is WAY better looking!

Okay, let's be honest here...movies in the park could be translated into makeout in the park. Perhaps you can relate? Now, I'm sitting here wondering,

"WHAT HAPPENED to those days? Did we grow out of that? Are we too old now?"

It's not like it's hard to do or expensive...nor does it require much planning. (Okay, if you have kids, your babysitter might think it a little weird that they're being paid while you two go to the park, of all places. And your kids might hate you for going to the park without them....but, someday they'll understand.)

I see no reason why we can't still do this. So, this will be our next date night.

How about you? Is there something you did in your dating days that you wish you still did?

Lovopoly

You may have heard of this before...but have you ever gotten the creative guts to make your very own personalized version? This is perfect if you have little or no budget for date night.

I've featured Becca from Happiness is Homemade before...but what can I say, she is brilliant! She created this game for her husband's birthday.

Here's the breakdown of how she did it:

• Made her own board, cards, and money using poster board
  
• Borrowed the dice, houses, and motels from the real Monopoly Game
  
• Cut out pictures of their faces for the playing pieces
  
• Found the Monopoly rules online and cut and pasted them into Word, and then just replaced some of the words to match her game (turned "Jail" into "Doghouse", "Go" into "Home", "Community Chess" into "Family Jewels" and "Chance" into "Get Lucky."
  
• For the "Family Jewels" cards, she put in expenses from their real life.
  Examples: "Time to buy more diapers pay $25" or "Grandma sends a birthday card, you get $30"
  
• For the "Get Lucky" cards, she put in romantic memories from their love story.
  Examples, "Head on over to the Ghost Swing. And while you're over there, share your first kiss." She chose properties that had special memories to them like where they had their first date, where they first held hands, kissed, where he proposed, where they spent their honeymoon, etc.
  
• Instead of using the four railroads, she did four cruise lines: Passion Pacific, Sweetheart Ship, Cupid's Cruise, and Lover's Line. When making the cards for the properties, she copied the numbers for the values for mortgage, rent, and house prices from real properties in real Monopoly--it just made it easier.
  
  If you need a little more inspiration, go to lovopoly.com where you can plug in your own information and it will generate an image for you.
  
  Fun, right?! Thanks for the idea, Becca!
  Do you have pictures of a board game you personalized?! I'd love to use them in a future post. Email to: ccloveactuallyATgmailDOTcom

Saturday Spotlight: {Blush}

Okay, I know it's not Saturday...but, since it's 4th of July tomorrow, I figure you'll all be out blasting fireworks and such. Thus, I hereby declare today Saturday Spotlight day!

So, I hope you all know that I diligently try to keep this blog as G rated as possible (okay, maybe it gets a little PG-13 sometimes), BUT.....I have a blogging friend who had a great post about a topic that is very applicable to my blog as well. Read on...

Ashley over at A Daily of Dose of Dieting posts simple, daily tips for heathy living and dieting.


And how does this apply to all you lovers reading this blog?!

Well, since you ask....healthy living is so important for romance! It boosts your confidence, helps you look and feel more attractive, and keeps you feeling healthy and young so you don't turn into an "old hag" (forgive the term) so that you feel like romancing your spouse for years and years!

That's all I'm gonna say before I send you over to Ashley's blog...
Check out this post first: {blush}
Then, browse around her blog...and let her know you were there!

Cereal Box Prize

Every kid loves opening a cereal box to discover a prize.... And even though he's not a kid anymore, I thought my husband might appreciate this little Midweek Romance.

So, I bought a box of his favorite cereal (I know what you're thinking..."Rice Squares?"...yup, he's adventurous, that husband of mine) and carefully opened it so no proof of tampering would be evident when he opened it for the first time. I put his "prize" inside (he'd wanted this DVD for a while) and sealed it back up. I let him pour his cereal before me that day. He saw the label on the box and asked, "Did this come on the box?" I said, "Ya..weird, huh?" He opened it to find his movie and looked at me in disbelief. He still wasn't sure if it came that way from the store or not! (He's not usually this gullible...)

For the prize, you could use a variety of things:

1. A love note

2. A love coupon
3. An item that he/she wants that actually fits in the box
4. Tickets to a movie/event he/she wants to see or go to
5. A favorite candy bar
6. A Lotto Card
7. An invitation for a romantic evening: Love Doctor, Camp out at Home

8. Gift Card to their favorite store (for no reason at all)
9. Gift certificate to a restaurant for that weekend